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About Me


They say that love is a bit complicated and I believe that. Honestly am not a pro when it comes to relationships but I think this is worth sharing.

The first time I heard about love languages was through a book I read, the book goes by the name "The 5 love languages, a secret to love that lasts" written by Gary Chapman.

Picha inayohusiana

We are all different , and in relationships ,things that makes a person feel loved by his/her partner is  different from one individual to another . That' s where the concept of love languages gets in. For those in relationships,  it is very important for each partner  to determine their dominant love language and talk about it  with the other partner so as to make their relationship more spicy and to avoid the feeling of being unloved which is a major hindrance in most relationships.

And once you know what's your partner's love language then express it as much as you can.

 Am going to explain each love language in summary and  for more explanations the book has it all (the download link is provided above).


 Compliments, word of encouragement , kind words, humble words or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements , such as:

“You look good today.”
“I really love your cooking.” 
“I really appreciate your washing the dishes tonight.”
 “I really appreciate your taking the garbage out.”
In reality they are very simple words , but I assure you that they have very great impact. 


It includes togetherness, quality conversation , quality activities.

By “quality time,” It  means giving someone your undivided attention , not just spending time together below are some practical tips in this love language:
  • Maintain eye contact when your spouse is talking.    
  • Don’t listen to your spouse and do something else at the same time.   
  • Listen for feelings.
  • Observe body language.
  •  Refuse to interrupt.

If your spouse’s love language is Quality Time then you can try to do the following :
  •  Take a walk together . Evening walks are highly recommended.
  •  Go to parks and other interesting places.
  •  Make lunch appointments and have lots of picnics.
  •  Make plans that includes your spouse.
  •  Plan a weekend getaway just for the two of you.
  • Make time every day to share with each other some of the events of the day.  


A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or, “She remembered me.” You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him. And it is not the thought implanted only in the mind that counts, but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift and giving it as the expression of love. 

 Gifts need not be expensive, nor must they be given weekly. But for some individuals, their worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love.
If your spouse’s love language is Receiving Gifts then try the following;
  • Try a parade of gifts: Leave a box of chocolate for your spouse in the morning  or have flowers delivered in the afternoon flowers or give him a shirt in the evening. As simple as that.
  • Let nature be your guide: The next time you take a walk through the neighborhood, keep your eyes open for a gift for your spouse. It may be a stone, a stick, or a flower ; just anything.
  •  Discover the value of “handmade originals.” Make a gift for your spouse. 
  •  Give your spouse a gift every day for one week.  
  • Offer the gift of presence.
 If you really don’t have a clue as to how to select a gift for your spouse, ask a friend or family member who knows your partner well to help you.


By acts of service, it  means doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please her/him by serving her/him , to express your love for her/him by doing things for her/him.

Such actions as cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, making the bed, taking out the garbage, changing the baby’s diaper  are all acts of service.

They require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.


Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating  love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. For some individuals, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved. With it they feel secure in the love of their spouse.

The touch of love may take many forms. Since touch receptors are located throughout the body, lovingly touching your spouse almost anywhere can be an expression of love. That does not mean that all touches are created equal. Some will bring more pleasure to your spouse than others. Your best instructor is your spouse, of course. After all, she/he  is the one you are seeking to love. She/he  knows best what she/he perceives as a loving touch.

"Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. "

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  1. Thanks Hellen, you always inspire me with your life talks and book reviews. It's time I go dust off this book and read the contents, to aid me to know other people's languages especially those really close, those who matter.

    By a quick read I think for me I really like #2. Quality Time above all else mentioned, and of course because I am inherently lazy I also like #4. Acts of Service.

  2. I appreciate the fact that you are learning .